Have you ever looked at the leaves on a big tree and noticed the way the sun shines differently on each individual leaf? If you haven’t, you’re really missing out. I’ll be bold and say it’s my favorite sight in nature. Apparently I deleted a photo I had taken that would have been a great representation of this sight, so I shall resort to google images.
Today marks my second official day of nannying. The past two days have been wonderfully new yet perfectly natural. Truly, I suppose, I am meant to be doing this work at this point in my life. Obviously, though, I am still figuring everything out. For example: how do you make and warm up a bottle while holding a whimpering baby who really wants to play with said bottle? (Answer: you put the baby down. I’d rather hold a crying baby than make her sit alone and cry, though. Maybe that’ll change once I’ve done it a million times.)
Today the nanee and I (I’m the nanny, she’s the nanee. Maybe I’ll just call her Nee from now own. That’s kind of cute.) spent quite a bit of time outside on a blanket under a big tree. At one point, I laid down next to her to see the world from her point of view. The tree, from below, had that whole sun-shining-through-and-lighting-up-the-leaves thing going on. For some reason, though, it was better from below. Fuller.
After a day of playing, giggling, sleeping, eating (a lot), and pooping (also a lot), I went “home.” (a.k.a. third floor of the house). I had no plans for the evening. Then I remembered that candles exist, so I lit one. Lights turn off, music turns on. For some reason, just like earlier in the day, I ended up laying on the ground. (I wasn’t just laying there, I was stretching. Eventually the stretching stopped and the peace began.) I felt incredibly at home. Maybe it was the way the candlelight was ever so slightly reflecting on the wood floor. Maybe it was the open space of the room I was in. Either way… I felt home.
All day long I felt home (home meaning where I am meant to be right here and now) but I felt very small. I could feel the big room around me, the big world around me… Such is life. We are small. Maybe this is just a taste of how it will feel at the passing of this life- at peace, at home, but ever so small.
Have a wonderful week, friends.