Not. Enough. Time.

Have you noticed a theme? Hmm… my last several posts have this kind of cliche “live your life” undertone goin’ on. Not that that’s a bad thing…

Something that I’ve really been trying to embrace lately the idea of living life unedited. Perhaps I’ve mentioned this in a previous post; I wouldn’t be surprised if I have, but I can’t quite remember. What I mean by “unedited” is really just allowing my mistakes to be seen. When we make mistakes, people are going to notice them. Period. There are some mistakes that we can fix before anyone notices them. Even more important, though, is that there are some things that aren’t necessarily mistakes, but rather imperfections, that we feel the need to immediately “fix.” Imperfections are not failures. The reason that I just went on that mini-rant (and the reason I’m going to keep it in this post) is because I want you to know that my intention for this blog is not to be perfect, but to be authentic.Progress

I am probably going to ramble, I am going to make mistakes, I am going to contradict myself… and I want that to be seen. Walk with me. Let’s grow and learn and ramble and process our thoughts and our lives and make mistakes together.

Moving on.

I am visiting my family for a few days while my nanny-family is out of town. While walking to the store today, I delivered a couple letters to families in our neighborhood that I haven’t seen in a while. A list of a bunch of people I should have seen while I was in town starting forming in my head, and I got really sad and even a little mad that I hadn’t thought to make time to see them all.

Most of us have probably been there. Wishing for more time to do this, do that…

And yet here I am, sitting on the couch writing this post when I could have planned to see someone or do something with this time.

Isn’t it kind of funny? We wish for things we don’t have, and when we have them we waste them… or worse: complain about them. When we “don’t have enough time” for something, we wish for more time. When we have too much time, we complain that we’re bored. And then, later, complain that we wasted our extra time. Why don’t we just live. Gosh, to find someone who truly feels that they are living their life fully, using their time wisely, and being able to balance spending time serving others and resting appropriately…that is the dream. If you know of such a person, send them my way. Their secrets to life are formally requested.

What constitutes “wasted time”? Really. I’d like to know. Yesterday, I asked my grandpa (yes, the same guy I mentioned in my previous post) what “wasted time” is. He had been talking about how he wishes to have some of his wasted time back so that he could have spend more quality time with his kids. He said he worked too much. I suppose, for me, I often feel the opposite. I feel that I don’t work enough. I’m not making progress, I’m not doing anything significant or productive. Writing this post almost feels like wasted time in itself.

Maybe it’s just my mindset that needs to change. What does it mean to be productive? What does it mean to waste time? I guess it’s nice because time is not the essence of life. We wish for more time. At the end of life, people want more time here on Earth. Why? Because they feel that life on earth is the end-all-be-all? I’d like to know.

Here’s to never wishing for more time, but learning to accept and love the time we’re given. To fully embrace and fill out minutes until they are bursting with love, joy, and peace… no matter how they are being spent.

[[This is an unedited post. Simply typed & shared.]]

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